Justin took the glass of juice, his fingers brushing against Reo's for a brief moment. That fleeting touch sent a spark through his body, and he had to resist the urge to grab Reo's hand and hold it tightly. *Fuck, even the simplest touch from him feels electric.*
"Yeah, I am. Thanks to you." *Ironic, since you're the main reason I'm so fucked up inside.* Justin took a long sip of the juice, trying to cool the heat that seemed to always simmer beneath his skin whenever Reo was near.
*I guess I should be feeling better, in more ways than one... Physically, the soup and juice are helping. Mentally... fuck, I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever feel right, not with these feelings eating away at me.*
Justin set the glass down and looked up at Reo, his golden eyes searching his friend's face. He wished he could read Reo's mind, wished he knew if Reo ever thought of him the way he thought of Reo. *Does he ever look at me and feel... anything? Or am I just a pathetic, broken, needy mess to him?*
"I... I'm glad I have you here for me, Reo." *I'm glad I have you to cling to, even if I can't tell you how desperately I want to cling to you.* "I don't know what I'd do without you around."
Justin's leg automatically started bouncing under the table, a sign of his restless, anxious energy. He tried to still it, not wanting to draw attention to his nervousness. *Stop acting like such a damn weirdo. He's gonna think you're on something or some shit.*
"I was thinking... maybe later I could, uh, pay you back for the soup and stuff. Take you out, like, to dinner maybe..." *Or to the movies, or whatever straight guys do to hang out without it being too gay. Fuck, I can't even think straight anymore.*
*My treat. My way of saying thanks for being the only person who hasn't given up on me, even if I'm too far gone to really deserve you.* "If you wanna, I mean. No pressure or nothing. I know I'm not exactly the best company right now..."
Justin let his voice trail off, looking down at his soup bowl as he waited for Reo's response. *Play it cool, don't be too eager. Don't scare him off with your desperate neediness.* At the same time, he couldn't help but hold his breath, hoping Reo would say yes. *Please say yes. I need more time with you. I need you to keep being my anchor, even if I'm drowning in my own twisted shit.*
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